✖✖✖✖✖
Two words:
HOT. DAMN.
I went into this movie looking for action, and this movie sure was packing HEAT!
Within the first two minutes of this movie, there's machine guns, car crashes, explosions, and blood!
Seriously, this movie is nonstop ACTION!
The storyline is a little "meh," but who cares when you've got that much ACTION!?
It's like being f-cked in the heart with a machine gun made of dragon skin; that's how intense it is.
There's hardly anything bad I can say about this movie, except for the fact that watching it kind of felt like I was playing a video game instead.
Or like watching someone else play the video game.
There is no gratuitous sex scene in this movie, but it makes up for it with ACTION! [I like saying "action" like that]
Oh, and they did a great job casting this movie.
Machine Gun Joe seemed a little hokey, but that was an exception.
Some of the dialogue, sounded like something I would have written in the 7th grade, but the actors just rolled with it.
My final word:
If you're a big fan of ACTION! then you should probably buy it.
If you're a fan of more than just things that go boom, cars, and sexy ladies, you should at least rent it!
~Ella.
P.S. I would have loved to be a stunt driver for this movie.
P.P.S. I know this one was kind of short, but think about how long my review for "Joyride" was.
You should be thankful!
Plus, this movie pretty much is just ACTION!
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Monday, July 6, 2009
Inkheart (2008)
✖✖✖✖✖1/2
My mom has been wanting to see this movie for a while, so today we finally went to the video store and rented it.
I'd been very curious to see it as well, because I only really like about half of the fantasy movies that I see.
After watching it, this is in the good half!
First of all, I'd like to say that the cast was AMAZING.
Brendan Fraser, Paul Bettany (gorgeous! *drools*), and even that old guy that plays Chief Inspector in Hot Fuzz!
Hot damn!
Everyone from the stars to the smallest bit players did their job exceedingly well.
I want to give whoever cast that movie a big, crushing bear hug.
Secondly, the special effects were far better than I expected.
When the big shadow monster came out of the mountainside, I almost died from how well done it was, and how real it looked.
They even made the freakin' flying monkeys look real!
I'm now going to have to read the book to compare and contrast & see if they got everything correct, but for now I applaud "Inkheart."
It was a really good movie, for all ages.
My final word:
Rent it first to make sure it's your cup of tea, then buy it so you can enjoy it more!
~Ella.
P.S. Did I mention that I think Paul Bettany is GORGEOUS? Ahhh! *drools more*
My mom has been wanting to see this movie for a while, so today we finally went to the video store and rented it.
I'd been very curious to see it as well, because I only really like about half of the fantasy movies that I see.
After watching it, this is in the good half!
First of all, I'd like to say that the cast was AMAZING.
Brendan Fraser, Paul Bettany (gorgeous! *drools*), and even that old guy that plays Chief Inspector in Hot Fuzz!
Hot damn!
Everyone from the stars to the smallest bit players did their job exceedingly well.
I want to give whoever cast that movie a big, crushing bear hug.
Secondly, the special effects were far better than I expected.
When the big shadow monster came out of the mountainside, I almost died from how well done it was, and how real it looked.
They even made the freakin' flying monkeys look real!
I'm now going to have to read the book to compare and contrast & see if they got everything correct, but for now I applaud "Inkheart."
It was a really good movie, for all ages.
My final word:
Rent it first to make sure it's your cup of tea, then buy it so you can enjoy it more!
~Ella.
P.S. Did I mention that I think Paul Bettany is GORGEOUS? Ahhh! *drools more*
Idle Hands (1999)
✖✖✖✖✖
I found out about this movie when MTV was playing it late at night during Spring Break.
I unfortunately didn't get to watch but a few minutes of it here and there, but from the scenes I saw, I already loved it.
It's exactly the kind of horror movie that I like: late 90s teen horror-comedy.
Awesome.
(Not to mention it had Seth Green, Jessica Alba, AND Vivica A. Fox! Wow!)
It definitely did NOT disappoint!
The movie had just the right amount of horror and comedy to it, which is amazing if you can pull it off.
"Idle Hands" definitely brought it.
I really liked everything about this movie.
The cast, the storyline, the great gore factor, & even the color scheme was great!
It's definitely up there in my favorites, now.
I'd also like to note, this movie has a really great soundtrack.
The Offspring make an appearance in the school dance scene, and the main character's rogue hand even kills the lead singer! Sweet!
I am definitely buying this movie so I can watch it on Halloween with some friends!
Warnings: There is a sex scene with some boobage, so it might not be the best for parents to watch with you.
It only lasts for less than a minute, though, so it's not too bad.
Also, there's a lot of weed smoking.
My final word:
Buy it, especially if you're a fan of Halloween movies!
~Ella.
I found out about this movie when MTV was playing it late at night during Spring Break.
I unfortunately didn't get to watch but a few minutes of it here and there, but from the scenes I saw, I already loved it.
It's exactly the kind of horror movie that I like: late 90s teen horror-comedy.
Awesome.
(Not to mention it had Seth Green, Jessica Alba, AND Vivica A. Fox! Wow!)
It definitely did NOT disappoint!
The movie had just the right amount of horror and comedy to it, which is amazing if you can pull it off.
"Idle Hands" definitely brought it.
I really liked everything about this movie.
The cast, the storyline, the great gore factor, & even the color scheme was great!
It's definitely up there in my favorites, now.
I'd also like to note, this movie has a really great soundtrack.
The Offspring make an appearance in the school dance scene, and the main character's rogue hand even kills the lead singer! Sweet!
I am definitely buying this movie so I can watch it on Halloween with some friends!
Warnings: There is a sex scene with some boobage, so it might not be the best for parents to watch with you.
It only lasts for less than a minute, though, so it's not too bad.
Also, there's a lot of weed smoking.
My final word:
Buy it, especially if you're a fan of Halloween movies!
~Ella.
Joyride (1996)
✖✖✖✖✖
ALERT: This is going to be a long one!
Okay, here's the description for this movie that the Movies On Demand channel provided:
"Three slacker kids out for kicks decide to nab a car, only to discover that their new wheels are the rightful property of a crack female assassin -- and she's hot on their trail."
Sounds awesome, right?
Well that's what I said, until I paid $2 and watched it myself.
It's got pre-Spiderman Tobey Maguire, so it could be good.
It's got a couple of scenes with Adam West, so it could be good.
That girl looks like a whore, so it could be good.
They're stealing a kickass car from a f-cking female assassin, so it could be good.
But it just wasn't good.
This is what the description and the first few minutes of the movie made me expect:
ALERT: This is going to be a long one!
Okay, here's the description for this movie that the Movies On Demand channel provided:
"Three slacker kids out for kicks decide to nab a car, only to discover that their new wheels are the rightful property of a crack female assassin -- and she's hot on their trail."
Sounds awesome, right?
Well that's what I said, until I paid $2 and watched it myself.
It's got pre-Spiderman Tobey Maguire, so it could be good.
It's got a couple of scenes with Adam West, so it could be good.
That girl looks like a whore, so it could be good.
They're stealing a kickass car from a f-cking female assassin, so it could be good.
But it just wasn't good.
This is what the description and the first few minutes of the movie made me expect:
- High speed car chase
- Shooting
- Gratuitous sex scene
- Someone getting killed in a really awesome way
Too bad hardly any of that happened.
There was some mild shooting, and a couple of guys did get killed, but it didn't even look cool.
Plus, there was no gratuitous sex scene!
The whole time, they're implying that the main girl (that's not the assassin) is pretty much a total slut, and her dad (Adam West; awesome!) is whoring her out to people.
You keep thinking that her and Toby Maguire are gonna get it on, but it never happens!
They go skinny dipping, and you think they're gonna do it, but then his little buzzkill gay friend pops up and ruins everything.
And towards the end, they're making out in the assassin's car, and then the assassin and his little buzzkill gay friend pop up and ruin everything.
(Also, some old guy trys to rape the girl, but the assassin kills him.)
There's really, like, no nudity at all.
I really wanted some explosions, but there's only one at the end, and I'm not even sure that it made a lot of sense...
Also, you should know by now that I'm definitely not a fan of continuity issues.
There are a few in this movie, but one in particular really bothered me.
The guy who's trying to rape the (whore)girl gets shot in the head.
A little bit of splatter goes onto the wall, but it really looks like someone just took a red marker and shook it really hard in that direction.
Then the camera pans over to the bed, where a HUGE pool of blood is all over the blankets.
There should not be THAT much blood from a head wound.
Then it shows him sliding down a wall on the other side of the room!
What the F-CK??
I don't understand their logic...
Another thing about that scene is that you see all these pictures of models and sexy ladies heavily adorning this girl's motel room (the whole movie pretty much takes place in the motel that Toby Maguire's character's dad owns), so I was wondering, how long has she been staying there??
Weird.
Another thing: the scene where the kids find the body in the trunk.
So they find the body, and Toby Maguire wants to keep the car, so they decide to dump the body in the lake, and the little buzzkill gay friend gets upset and walks away.
Toby Maguire and the whore girl then dispose of the body themselves, all while this lame, sort of ambient background music is playing. (if you've seen "Dead Poets Society," I would describe this music like about half of the background music in that movie)
Not only is it really lame music, about halfway through the scene you hear some faint saxophone start to kick into it.
That totally killed the scene for me!
My final word:
Rent it, so you know how retarded it is. It's fun to watch with friends!
~Ella.
P.S. If you get bored with it, fast forward to the scene where they beat up the rednecks.
It's actually a pretty good bit!
Hannibal (2001)
✖✖✖✖✖
Another part of the "Hannibal Lecter Double Feature," we watched this the night after we watched "Silence of the Lambs."
I really enjoyed the first one, so I was excited to get to the second one.
I was expecting it to be filled with gory goodies, but...
It just fell short.
The main problem I had with this movie was the pace.
If you're going to make a 2+ hour movie, you have to make it a little bit quicker-paced.
In fact I couldn't even finish the last thirty minutes of the movie because I was so bored.
There was hardly any thrills or hooks to draw you in and make you keep watching, and there was, like, ONE scene total that had any gore, and it wasn't even a good scene.
Hannibal was pretty much announcing that he was going to kill this guy, and even how he was going to do it, so when he kills him, you're like "Meh. Not exciting."
That scene alone could have made me give at least a two-star rating, but it was just so poorly executed.
Another thing is the change of the actress who played the leading lady.
In "Silence of the Lambs," Agent Starling is portrayed by Jodie Foster, where in "Hannibal," she's played by Julianne Moore.
Now do they even look remotely alike?
I don't think so.
They could have at least dyed Julianne Moore's hair brown instead of leaving it red.
Talk about continuity issues!
Also, the way it was set up, it was like you HAD to go and watch the first movie to get what was going on.
You couldn't just jump into it.
Lame.
My final word:
Don't waste your time with it. Really. DON'T.
~Ella.
Another part of the "Hannibal Lecter Double Feature," we watched this the night after we watched "Silence of the Lambs."
I really enjoyed the first one, so I was excited to get to the second one.
I was expecting it to be filled with gory goodies, but...
It just fell short.
The main problem I had with this movie was the pace.
If you're going to make a 2+ hour movie, you have to make it a little bit quicker-paced.
In fact I couldn't even finish the last thirty minutes of the movie because I was so bored.
There was hardly any thrills or hooks to draw you in and make you keep watching, and there was, like, ONE scene total that had any gore, and it wasn't even a good scene.
Hannibal was pretty much announcing that he was going to kill this guy, and even how he was going to do it, so when he kills him, you're like "Meh. Not exciting."
That scene alone could have made me give at least a two-star rating, but it was just so poorly executed.
Another thing is the change of the actress who played the leading lady.
In "Silence of the Lambs," Agent Starling is portrayed by Jodie Foster, where in "Hannibal," she's played by Julianne Moore.
Now do they even look remotely alike?
I don't think so.
They could have at least dyed Julianne Moore's hair brown instead of leaving it red.
Talk about continuity issues!
Also, the way it was set up, it was like you HAD to go and watch the first movie to get what was going on.
You couldn't just jump into it.
Lame.
My final word:
Don't waste your time with it. Really. DON'T.
~Ella.
Just a reminder:
I'm not only going to be rating horror/thriller movies in this blog.
I've just been on this horror binge lately!
I do watch other movies, though; I don't have a one-track mind!
:]
~Ella.
I've just been on this horror binge lately!
I do watch other movies, though; I don't have a one-track mind!
:]
~Ella.
Silence of the Lambs (1991)
✖✖✖✖✖
When we bought "American Psycho," we also happened to pick up the "Hannibal Lecter Double Feature," containing "Silence of the Lambs" and "Hannibal."
We decided to watch the former the next night during dinner.
I was surprised at how much I actually liked this movie.
I thought it would be too weird.
It did bring on the weird, but it wasn't too weird to where it didn't appeal to me.
And I'd just like to point out: Anthony Hopkins is creepy as f-ck.
He alone will scare you.
I also thought that this movie would be really long and drawn out.
It's pretty long, but it keeps up the pace with the thrills.
Also, the acting is great, and the gore factor is terrific.
Only one warning: there is a scene where the crazy guy who's not Hannibal is pretending to be a lady, and he tucks his dick between his legs and flashes the camera, so... ye be warned.
Dick tuck and all, I would probably watch this movie again.
My final word:
If you can find it for a cheap price, buy it.
~Ella.
When we bought "American Psycho," we also happened to pick up the "Hannibal Lecter Double Feature," containing "Silence of the Lambs" and "Hannibal."
We decided to watch the former the next night during dinner.
I was surprised at how much I actually liked this movie.
I thought it would be too weird.
It did bring on the weird, but it wasn't too weird to where it didn't appeal to me.
And I'd just like to point out: Anthony Hopkins is creepy as f-ck.
He alone will scare you.
I also thought that this movie would be really long and drawn out.
It's pretty long, but it keeps up the pace with the thrills.
Also, the acting is great, and the gore factor is terrific.
Only one warning: there is a scene where the crazy guy who's not Hannibal is pretending to be a lady, and he tucks his dick between his legs and flashes the camera, so... ye be warned.
Dick tuck and all, I would probably watch this movie again.
My final word:
If you can find it for a cheap price, buy it.
~Ella.
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